If you've spent any time on social media this summer, you've likely seen the term "monkey-barring." The monkey-barring dating meaning is simple: someone stays in their current relationship while quietly lining up the next one, so they never have to face being single. The name comes from playground monkey bars, where a child grips the next bar before letting go of the last one. Applied to dating, it describes a person who holds onto one partner while reaching for another.
If you suspect this is happening to you, the not-knowing is often the hardest part. You want proof, and proof is not always available. This is where a tarot reading can help. It will not name names or read someone else's private messages. What it can do is help you see your own situation more clearly, so you can tell the difference between ordinary relationship doubt and a pattern worth paying attention to.
What Monkey-Barring Really Means, and Why It's Everywhere Right Now
Monkey-barring is not a new behavior. People have delayed breakups by lining up someone new for as long as dating has existed. What's new is the word for it, and the speed at which it spread this year. Dating writers point to a simple reason: dating apps make it easier to keep quiet options open while still showing up for a current partner. The fear underneath it is usually the same one people have always carried: the fear of being alone between relationships.
Knowing the term helps you name what you're feeling. It does not, by itself, tell you what is true in your relationship. That takes a closer look, at the cards and at your own life.
Why a Tarot Reading Won't Name Your Partner's Secrets
I want to be honest with you here, because that matters more to me than telling you what you want to hear. Tarot does not hand over someone else's phone. It will not spell out a name or a date. What it does well is reflect the energy and patterns around a situation, including the parts of it you already sense but haven't let yourself fully look at.
In more than 25 years of readings, I've learned that most people who ask about a wandering partner already know something. They just need a clear, calm space to look at it honestly. That's the real work of a reading: not prediction for its own sake, but clarity you can act on.
The Cards That Often Show Up When the Doubt Is Mostly About You
Sometimes fear creates the story before any evidence does. If a reading around a monkey-barring worry turns up cards like the Nine of Swords, Two of Swords, or the Moon, it often points inward rather than outward. These cards speak to anxiety, avoidance, and illusions built from worry rather than fact.
- Nine of Swords: sleepless nights spent replaying small moments, often larger in your mind than in reality.
- Two of Swords: you already sense the truth but have avoided facing it directly.
- The Moon: confusion and half-information, where fear fills in the gaps.
If these cards dominate a spread, the honest next step is usually a direct conversation with your partner, not more guessing.
The Cards That Often Point to Being Strung Along
Other cards tend to appear when someone really is holding a relationship at arm's length while keeping another option warm. The Seven of Swords is the clearest signal of hidden dealings or one-sided secrecy. The Three of Swords points to real heartbreak arriving, not imagined. A reversed Eight of Cups can suggest someone unwilling to walk away cleanly, staying attached to what's comfortable while looking elsewhere.
A card never replaces your own eyes and instincts. It gives you a second, quieter voice to compare against the first.
Even here, the cards describe a pattern. They don't replace a direct conversation, and they're not a substitute for paying attention to how your partner actually treats you day to day.
A Simple Three-Card Spread to Try Tonight
You don't need a professional reader to start. Light a candle, sit quietly, and shuffle while you hold the relationship in mind. Then draw three cards and ask:
- What is true about my relationship right now?
- What is true about my own fear?
- What do I need to do next?
Write down your first honest reaction to each card before you look up its meaning. That instinct is often more accurate than any guidebook.
Trusting the Cards, and Trusting Yourself
Tarot works best alongside what you can already observe: sudden secrecy with a phone, a partner who is less available than they used to be, or a gut feeling you keep talking yourself out of. None of these prove monkey-barring on their own. Together, they're worth taking seriously.
You deserve honesty in a relationship, and you deserve honesty from any reading you get about it. If you're carrying this kind of doubt and want a calm, experienced voice to help you sort it out, I'm here. After more than 50,000 readings, I've sat with this exact question many times, and I'd be glad to sit with you through yours. Book a reading whenever you're ready.
Written by The Psychic Queen
Clairvoyant psychic, tarot reader, psychic medium, and life coach with 25+ years of full-time experience and 50,000+ readings given. Former host of a psychic TV show on Metro ACCESS TV, NYC, for 7 years.
